Wednesday, December 14, 2016

identity in writing

I'm no witty Colin Mochrie, neither do I possess the energy of furball Aziz Ansari. But heck, I know I'm hilarious.

I know that I'm actually really funny and that comedy is an important part of my life. While people around me fangirl over musicians and actors (not that I don't), I find myself focusing more on the likes of the cast members of Saturday Night Live, and am very interested in comedy.

Comedy has been my driving force since young. My first exposure to comedy (thankfully) was "Whose Line Is It Anyway", and I've been addicted ever since.

And truth is, I know nothing will ever satisfy me as much as comedy. And I do really want to become an established comedian in the future. I have dreams of working as a cast member on Saturday Night Live or being a writer.

But I know I have a lot of gaps to reaching that point. I appear to have problems when I am expected to be funny. I find myself not being able to make people laugh (or at least chuckle) when they wait for a joke.

Now that's a huge problem. I can't deliver when people expect me to.

I also have stage fright. *welp* I can't seem to let loose when attention is focused on me.

Another problem would be the act of writing itself. I seem to employ a formal tone whenever I begin writing, and I can't seem to translate the thoughts in my head into writing.

And it really pains me because I know I am hella funny and I love making people laugh more than anything. I guess I'm supposed to have an action plan so here it is:

Confidence: I've actually done a ton of emceeing but I still am not comfortable with large crowds and I don't really know how to present myself. I find that whenever I'm asked to emcee I'll do really great during rehearsals but then become a tad too formal during the real deal. I don't actually know how to handle this but I guess I gotta find more opportunities to speak more (when expected to). I'll be signing up for Toastmasters, which I hope helps.

Taking myself more seriously: I know this goes against the essence of comedy but I do find myself shying from a lot of confidence-related roles in council. I have to get rid of the cringe-y feeling when saying ridiculously cringe-y things. Only then can I actually have the opportunity to speak up more (i hope).

Finding my identity in writing: This one concerns me the most. I want to get rid of my awfully formally writing tone. I don't know how to do that but I gotta try with more practice.

I wish I could be funny when people expect me to. I love comedy and I want to give back.

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